MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS: YOU FAILED TWICE, AND YOU'LL FAIL MORE

Midnight Thoughts: You Failed Twice, And You'll Fail More

The idea of failure has a kind of boggling effect on our inner system. It brings fear and a sort of trouble that you cannot actually fathom. Then one morning, you suddenly realize that you feel afraid, threatened, and rushed about the future.

No one wants to fail, but as human beings, we are bound to collapse — even the greatest artists of all time. No matter the circumstances or situations, you sometimes fall short. You lose. You fail. It’s a never-ending cycle, a part of your journey in life.

Sometimes, you have no choice but to move forward and take a new step along the way because time stops for no one.

That academic award you hoped to hold but slipped away before it reached your hands; that entrance exam you thought you’d pass but came up short; that dream university you wanted to go to but couldn’t; and that dream college program you hoped to graduate from with a cap on your head but slipped away before you even tried — it just faded into the dark.

That interview and the job you hoped to land on the first try but never received an email after the final interview. That relationship you tried to save but only drained you, and the dream you wanted to chase, but sacrificed so your brother and sister could reach theirs.

The agony you felt in all of these different forms of failure — no one really knows. The rage. The silent cries and screams at midnight. The depression. The disappointment you felt and the self-hatred you carried. No one could ever truly grasp the heartbreak.

It’s just that no one really understands, even though there are countless words of comfort. You can’t erase it all at once, even if you’re in a chapter of your life where you thought you were in a better state. One day, it just haunts you, popping into your thoughts, making you tremble and cry. Even if you escape and choose another path, trying to move forward and run from all those failures, it just sinks in on a random day: What went wrong? Where did it all go wrong? Do I still have a chance? Do I still have anything left? Does this all make sense?

In those moments, doubts begin to creep in, and you don’t even realize that, at some point, you’ve become afraid of your future. You feel rushed by the clock while also pressured by your bucket list of dreams and desires, making failure seem no longer an option. You’re afraid that you don’t have enough time left, yet at the same time , you fear you’re too young to start. It feels like a cage — a prison of cynicism — that makes it difficult to seize the opportunities that come your way.

In the end, those opportunities slip through your fingers as you watch them disappear before your eyes, leaving you questioning the life you’re living and the decisions you’ve made.

The continuous failures you experienced when you were young may have made you feel like you were already prepared for any setbacks that might come your way, but in all honesty, it still hurts. Even if you’ve been in that situation before, there are moments when you still can’t handle the truth, despite expecting the outcome. But failure has a strange way of motivating you—it makes you want to come back and try again, just to see if you can succeed next time. It’s like testing yourself to see if you’ll pass the second time around, even though you’ve been in that situation before.

What you might not realize is that failure also brings hope, even after falling short the first time. The growth. The learning. The optimism—it all comes together. Yet, despite applying the lessons you’ve learned, studying hard, and being prepared, there’s always the possibility that you will still fail on your second try. The second time around doesn’t guarantee success or gives you a ticket to pass any test in life.

In case no one has told you this: It’s fine. It will be okay. Trust me. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but it will be. You don’t have to figure out all the answers right now. Sometimes, you just need to grieve those failed moments and accept that failure was meant to happen. Trust me, you don’t need to understand every reason behind your setbacks. You don’t need to chase the train at the station, trying to figure out why you missed it.

Sometimes, you just need to give it a rest and try again next time. Sometimes, you miss the train for no particular reason, but you can always choose to hail a bus and get to your next stop.

The bottom line is that you will still reach the destination you truly want, and the bus you’re on will take you to your next stop. Life teaches you that there are always plenty of options to get on board and move forward.

In life, you must remember that failure is just a part of your journey. Despite the numerous attempts, don’t let it hold you back. You may compare your journey to others, especially with the influence of social media and advanced technologies, but don’t let it consume you. Don’t let it define you.

You are never too old or too young to start—you’re always right on time. Remember, we each walk our own path at our own pace.

It may feel like time stopped when you failed your college entrance exam, board exams, or bar exams. Just remember that each of us has a different clock. Your clock may feel like it paused while others were busy living their lives, leaving you envious because they seemed to have it all figured out while you were still in your room trying to piece things together. But remember, everyone has their own timing, and your time will come.

While others move forward, you are taking the time to understand yourself better and prepare for the journey ahead. You may feel behind, but in reality, you are laying the foundation for a stronger and more fulfilling future. So, don’t lose hope, and don’t compare your life to others just because you’ve seen only one part of it, never the behind-the-scenes.

At the end of the day, you’ll realize that sometimes showing up is better than being absent. It takes courage and bravery to stand up, regardless of the circumstances, but here you are—taking it all in, standing tall, waving, and remaining hopeful. As you grow older, you might sometimes feel like you’ve failed twice, and that you’ll fail more, but that’s just how life is.

But this time, you’re no longer afraid. You’re more mature and capable of conquering any turbulence that may come your way, even if the outcome doesn’t align with your plan. You realize that it’s not just about how you navigated through all the thorns and storms, but about the lessons you gained and learned from those experiences.